


i'll keep you safe

by LiveLaughLovex



Category: The Code (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Episode: s01e07 Above the Knee, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23195674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex
Summary: When he gave her the medal meant to keep him safe in the middle of war - in the middle of hell - she asked what would protect him. He laughed freely in response to the question, shaking his head. "I don't need it anymore," he told her honestly. "I have you watching my back now."She tried and failed not to overanalyze what he meant by that.(Post-s01e07 AU. Several weeks after the events in Idlib, Abe drops by Harper's apartment with his St. Michael's medallion in tow.)
Relationships: John "Abe" Abraham/Harper Li
Kudos: 6





	i'll keep you safe

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the song of the same name by Sleeping at Last.

Harper stared absently down at the plate of food before her, poking carelessly at a few strands of pasta before shaking her head in disgust and pushing aside the dish, reaching instead for the glass of wine in front of her. She downed half of it in one gulp, then sipped the rest of it slowly, staring contemplatively out the window as she allowed herself to become lost in her thoughts.

Every time her mind drifted, every time she lost focus, she seemed to end up at the same place. She found herself remembering William Dyer and the two others that’d been lost on that road in Syria. She thought of their families; their mothers, their spouses, their children. She wondered if it’d eventually feel okay to breathe in a world where they no longer were, to go on after having a man die in her lap of a gunshot to the head.

It didn’t matter how many times she asked herself the question; the answer was always the same, so simple it somehow made things harder. _She didn’t know._ She didn’t know if things would get easier, and she didn’t know if she’d make it through the ordeal intact. There were some moments – her darkest moments – when she wasn’t entirely sure that she _wanted_ to.

She largely blamed Tarkanian for what had happened over there, but that didn’t change the fact that there was a small part of her that blamed herself. There was a chance they never would have gone over that border if she hadn’t asked them to. They might not have been on that exact stretch of road at that precise moment that night if she hadn’t been with them, and then maybe then Dyer would’ve gotten to go home to Georgia; to his family, to the people that, despite a distance of six thousand miles, had still made sure their boy had fresh fruit in the middle of that warzone.

His mother had sobbed throughout his funeral, a hand clutched to her heart as the chaplain spoke, as if his words were causing it to slowly shatter within her body. Harper knew she’d never really be able to forget the sounds, or the look on Annalise Dyer’s face. It’d already haunted too many of her nightmares for that to be possible.

She was worrying people. She knew that. Abe kept a closer eye on her than he had before, and Maya checked in at least half a dozen times a day, though she always managed to disguise it as something else. Trey took to bringing leftovers from home and leaving them in the refrigerator she and Abe shared, correctly assuming that she’d eat them instead of tossing them, simply due to the fact that Nona had made them. Rami shared anecdotes about his little girl in the hopes of making that smile she’d permanently pasted on would reach her eyes. Even Turnbull, who tried not to get involved, had shown concern after Harper’s psych evaluation.

_Lieutenant Li, I promise you that nobody in this office will think less of you if you’re struggling with this,_ the colonel had promised her quietly. _If they do – if they breathe a word about it – they can take it up with me._

She’d promised the older woman that wasn’t the case, that she was doing just fine. She tried not to wonder what it said about her that the lie didn’t even really burn her throat before leaving her lips that time around.

The world wasn’t black and white anymore. Not the way it had been before that night, at least. It was a lot messier and much more broken than before. She hated that. She hated that she’d started questioning her instincts, both inside the courtroom and out.

More than anything, she hated what she’d lost on that road in Idlib: her sense of justice and her belief that the world was fair. That couldn’t be true, she reasoned. Not anymore. Not when the man who’d sacrificed everything for God and country bled out on a dirt road in the middle of a warzone, while another – one who’d been complicit in a massacre, no less – got to go home and deliver even more of his pointless lectures to the dwindling number of idiots who’d listen to him.

A knock on her front door pulled her from her thoughts before they could get even angrier. She was grateful for it. Neither her brain nor her liver would’ve been thanking her in the morning if she’d polished off the rest of that bottle all by herself.

She exhaled deeply, placing her glass back on the table and then padding into the foyer, a little annoyed that someone had decided _midnight_ was an appropriate time to drop in. That annoyance faded quickly into confusion, though, the second she opened the door and came face-to-face with the man standing on her stoop.

“Abe,” she greeted dumbly, her eyes widening slightly as she stepped aside to let him inside and then closed the door behind them both. “Did I… know you were dropping by?” She was certain she hadn’t, just as she was certain she’d never given him her home address. She decided not to question that second thing, however. She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

“No.” He cleared his throat. “No, you didn’t, but you seemed off at the office earlier, and then your lights were on when I drove by earlier, so I figured I’d just… stop in, make sure you were okay.”

She chose not to point out that he lived fifteen minutes in the opposite direction. “Thank you,” she sighed gratefully, offering him a tentative smile as she led him into the kitchen. “Can I get you anything? Water, beer… I think there’s still half a bottle of wine left, if you want that.”

“No, thanks,” he declined politely, glancing around the room thoughtfully. “This is a nice place. It’s very… you,” he finished, for lack of better word.

“Thank you,” she smiled, placing what was left of her dinner in the refrigerator before turning back to him. “I spent a few weeks couch-surfing after I was assigned to Quantico, still looking for the perfect place, but…” She shrugged, looking around the space herself. “I personally think it was worth the wait.”

“It was,” he agreed immediately, smiling gently himself. “You seem happy here. Happier than you ever have at the office, at least,” he added sheepishly.

“Well, that’s no big secret,” she smirked, reaching into a nearby cabinet for two water glasses. “Nobody’s forcing me to wear a skirt and three-inch heels here.”

“Fair enough,” he acquiesced, his smile transforming into something much fonder as he met her gaze. “I didn’t actually come here just to talk about your interior decorating skills, though. I, uh, I actually wanted to give you something.”

“I thought you were just driving by,” she smirked, amused at the way his eyes widened slightly when he realized his mistake.

“I was,” he covered quickly, though the glint in his gaze – as well as the slight grimace on his face – reflected his dishonesty. “I saw the lights and remembered that I – well, I kept forgetting to give this to you, and it was fresh on my mind, so…” He dug into his jacket pocket, emerging several seconds later with a medallion in his palm.

“What’s this?” Harper questioned, carefully taking it from him and holding it delicately in her own palm. “St. Michael,” she murmured under her breath, running her finger gently over the engraving at the bottom.

“Patron saint of the military,” Abe explained, burying his hands in his pockets. “My mom gave it to me, right before I left on my first deployment. Got me back home twice, mostly unscathed.”

“Wasn’t there a hole in your leg the side of your fist the second time around?” she couldn’t help but ask.

He breathed a laugh, shaking his head with an exasperated grin. “I said mostly, Li, not entirely,” he pointed out. “Look, I don’t know what you believe,” he continued seriously. “But it’s always gotten me back here, to the people I love, even when it seemed like everything was going wrong, so I just… I figured you might need that right now,” he finished awkwardly. “A good luck charm or… well, whatever you want it to be, really. Something to help you keep the hope, even when it feels like the world’s falling apart around you.”

“It feels that way ninety-seven percent of the time these days,” she told him honestly.

“Further proof you need that thing way more than I do,” he offered instantly, beaming at the way her eyes lit with laughter in response to his stubbornness. He stared at her a moment more before glancing away, his cheeks faintly flushed as he did. “That’s it, really. I just wanted to give that to you.” He glanced down at his watch, whistling lowly. “And it’s extremely late. You should go to sleep soon. I’ll get out of your hair so you can do that,” he said, turning for the door.

“Hey, Abe,” she called before he could exit, freezing for a moment when he turned to look at her inquiringly. “What about the next time we go to a warzone?” she asked finally. “Won’t you need your good luck charm?”

He smiled faintly, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t need it anymore.”

“And why’s that?” she challenged humorously. “Have you suddenly become bulletproof?”

“No,” he laughed freely. “I’ve got _you_ watching my back now. Like I said,” he continued, turning the doorknob, “I don’t need it anymore.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she simply said _goodnight,_ forcing herself to smile and nod when he did the same. The second the door closed behind him, she returned to the sofa, St. Michael’s medallion still balanced in her palm, to overanalyze every detail of that interaction.

(She tried not to let herself focus too much on the hidden meaning within his last words. _I’ve got you watching my back now,_ he’d said. _I don’t need it anymore._

She realized what he truly meant when he said them – _I know I’m safe when I’m with you –_ and what he’d meant beyond that, too – _I want_ you _to feel safe with you, too._

Needless to say, her attempts failed miserably. She was unable to focus on anything else.) 

**Author's Note:**

> For whatever reason, this episode is the one I watch the most, and it always provides me with ideas. This was only one of them, which means one-shots based around this episode's events may pop up again at a later date. 
> 
> I researched the Catholic saints of the military for this story and got mixed answers - apparently, St. Michael is the patron saint of law enforcement officers/the military in general, but St. Barbara is the patron saint of artillerymen? I'm pretty sure neither Abe nor Harper is an artilleryman (person?), so I went with St. Michael. I'm not Catholic, though, so I'm sorry if this is incorrect. 
> 
> Also, in this little AU one-shot, Harper/Bard and Abe/Alex are not happening. In my mind, they never DID happen, but, for the sake of this, they just aren't together at this moment in time and never will be again, meaning nothing nefarious happened.


End file.
